Our Blog

Marriage Is For Grown Folks!

By Aiyana Ma’at

The very first time my husband and I decided to enroll in Marriage Education classes I was so clear that there were some “issues” he needed to work on and I  was just waiting for his “Aha!” moment to come so he could let go of some of his baggage and stop working my nerves. Yup, that was  my thinking— pretty arrogant, right? Well, as each week passed what became clearer and clearer to me was the fact that I might be a bit “touched” too meaning I had some bags I needed to put down myself.  As a matter of fact I learned that I had a whole lot of baggage but I just didn’t realize it because I had been carrying it most of my life. So, I simply didn’t notice it. It was so much a part of me I couldn’t distinguish what part of me was the “real” me and what part was the “contrived” me, if you will.

You see, I believe we all have our real selves and our contrived selves. Our real selves are our most authentic and true selves. Our contrived selves are the person we’ve created  (subconsciously most of the time) to show to the world and yes even to our spouses. So how might this look in our relationships?  Come back next week and check out our upcoming video on what it means to keep it all the way real in your marriage.

Getting back to my original point…(ya’ll will soon learn—I can jump all around at times!), a real shift occurred in my mind, heart, and soul when I finally began to understand that the marriage God blessed me with, the relationship that I say is most important (after my relationship with The Most High) was not given to me for me to spend most of my time complaining about all of my spouse’s imperfections. Our relationships are not the place for us to let all of our stuff hang out with no regard for how that stuff is weighing us, our partner, and our relationship down. Our relationships are definitely not the place for us to revisit childhood and think that we should get everything our way. One of the biggest challenges I’ve noticed in doing work with couples is the difficulty we have with abandoning our individual agendas and moving towards what’s going to work best for the marriage. Typically, we’re so busy focusing on what our spouse is or isn’t doing that we don’t realize the part we play in perpetuating the problems we want to get rid of!

Marriage is one of the best places to grow and work on YOU if you’re up for it. Marriage is the place where 2 people can come together and pull and push eachother in love to be the best that God created them to be. Marriage is a place where one partner can model for the partner that just doesn’t seem to get it through your actions and not just your words. Marriage is a place where a brand new you can be born if we would just stop looking at our spouse, the next couple, and everywhere else outside of ourselves. Marriage can be a great place to work on SELF. Marriage is for grown folks!

Question: Why do you think people enter into marriage thinking it’s going to be nothing but a romantic cake walk?

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

  1. I simply want to mention I am newbie to blogging and site-building and certainly savored this web site. Most likely I’m going to bookmark your blog post . You amazingly come with good well written articles. Many thanks for revealing your website page.

  2. I just want to say I’m newbie to blogging and absolutely loved this web site. Probably I’m likely to bookmark your website . You really have remarkable writings. Thanks a lot for sharing with us your web-site.

  3. Hey! This post couldn’t be written any better! Reading this post reminds me of my old room mate! He always kept chatting about this. I will forward this post to him. Fairly certain he will have a good read. Thank you for sharing!|

  4. I simply want to tell you that I am all new to blogging and absolutely loved you’re page. More than likely I’m likely to bookmark your site . You amazingly come with terrific articles and reviews. Bless you for sharing your web page.

  5. I simply want to tell you that I am all new to blogging and site-building and definitely enjoyed you’re web blog. Probably I’m likely to bookmark your site . You actually have terrific posts. Kudos for sharing your webpage.

  6. I simply want to tell you that I am very new to weblog and absolutely enjoyed you’re web page. Very likely I’m likely to bookmark your blog post . You absolutely come with superb writings. Thanks a lot for revealing your blog.

  7. You really make it appear really easy along with your presentation but I in finding this matter to be actually something which I think I might never understand. It sort of feels too complicated and extremely vast for me. I’m looking forward in your subsequent submit, I’ll try to get the grasp of it!|

  8. I read this piece of writing completely on the topic of the comparison of hottest and earlier technologies, it’s remarkable article.|

  9. I just want to tell you that I am just beginner to weblog and truly loved you’re website. Likely I’m planning to bookmark your blog post . You certainly come with perfect well written articles. Bless you for revealing your web site.

  10. Hey just wanted to give you a quick heads up and let you know a few of the images aren’t loading properly. I’m not sure why but I think its a linking issue. I’ve tried it in two different internet browsers and both show the same outcome.|

  11. Hello there, just became alert to your blog through Google, and found that it’s really informative. I am gonna watch out for brussels. I’ll appreciate if you continue this in future. Many people will be benefited from your writing. Cheers!|

  12. I do accept as true with all the ideas you have presented to your post. They’re very convincing and can certainly work. Nonetheless, the posts are very short for novices. May you please lengthen them a little from next time? Thank you for the post.|

  13. Wonderful work! That is the kind of info that are meant to be shared around the internet. Disgrace on Google for not positioning this put up upper! Come on over and talk over with my site . Thank you =)|

  14. I’d like to find out more? I’d like to find out some additional information.|

  15. I just want to mention I am all new to blogging and definitely enjoyed this page. Very likely I’m likely to bookmark your website . You absolutely have remarkable stories. With thanks for revealing your blog site.

  16. Hi! Someone in my Myspace group shared this site with us so I came to give it a look. I’m definitely enjoying the information. I’m bookmarking and will be tweeting this to my followers! Fantastic blog and excellent style and design.|

  17. Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This is a very well written article. I will be sure to bookmark it and return to read more of your useful information. Thanks for the post. I’ll definitely return.|

  18. My family members all the time say that I am wasting my time here at web, except I know I am getting familiarity everyday by reading such nice articles or reviews.|

  19. My coder is trying to convince me to move to .net from PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the costs. But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using Movable-type on a variety of websites for about a year and am anxious about switching to another platform. I have heard great things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can import all my wordpress content into it? Any help would be greatly appreciated!|

  20. Hello there, just became alert to your blog through Google, and found that it’s truly informative. I am going to watch out for brussels. I will be grateful if you continue this in future. Many people will be benefited from your writing. Cheers!|

  21. Ahaa, its good conversation concerning this paragraph here at this web site, I have read all that, so now me also commenting at this place.|

  22. Hello there, You have done a great job. I’ll definitely digg it and in my view suggest to my friends. I am sure they will be benefited from this web site.|

  23. Hello would you mind letting me know which hosting company you’re working with? I’ve loaded your blog in 3 different internet browsers and I must say this blog loads a lot faster then most. Can you suggest a good hosting provider at a honest price? Thank you, I appreciate it!|

Comments are closed.